The Great Indian Circus

Sane India’s saner leaders on one platform, mooting hard, focussed on one big issue – why so many rapes? The question trickles down their sagacious wit quite differently. Some perceive it as – why girls ask for rape? Still some – why rape and kill both? And, still some – why make such a fuss? But, they all brainstorm, very hard, with strained eyebrows, with maturity dripping from white moustache of one to Ottoman styled beard of another.

One leader with protruded eyes comes up with a theory titled “Overstepping of Lakshman-Rekha”. A big section of group rejects it. Anther one with walrus moustache brings his “India rape, Bharat is safe” theory. Half of the group condemns it. Then an old man, his head wrapped in a dusty turban of patriarchy, speaks of a hypothesis, he smugly named it as “Chowmein is it!” Leaders choose to remain silent as this turbaned guy is notorious for banning cell phones and love marriages. Then out of sheer pressure of not having spoken as yet, a man in white calls for increase in the length of skirts schoolgirls wear; but he is refuted by the ottoman beard man who shakes his head in discord and rather asks for banning co-ed schools. Leaders are tired as no consensus is reached.

Then, the door opens and from the beam of sparkling dust emerges a figure, young, dynamic and Marathi. His specs dispersing audacious rays originating from his eyes, commanding silence. His theory written eccentrically in Marathi deplores the small piece of land called Bihar. And its cover says “only Biharis rape, rest ignore this fact”. As the Manoos of Frankenstein creature leaves along with his polemic air, the consensus is reached. After ensuring that he has left and the meeting room is far from Maharashtra, everybody unequivocally condemns it. Finally they lift their tired ass, greet everybody and leave.

While this great Indian debate was going on, media had its inexorable attention to every detail of it. Our TV screens ran short of space to cover all of the Breaking News being flashed. TV studios debated the dim-wit politicians; Arnab shouted nation’s demand for an answer and Brakha rained emotions. An insomniac youth who slept on the election day, went to India Gate, lit candles and updated status: At India Gate, protesting #delhirapecase.

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